Jealousy: "I want what he has."

Jealousy tells us life is unfair to us, yet generous to others. Abundance and luck appear to be lopsided in someone else’s favor. Jealousy can be aimed at friends, family, colleagues, neighbors, strangers, even the “rich and famous”. The feeling becomes even more uncomfortable if it is someone close to us such as a spouse, a parent, a child, a close friend. By simply acknowledging that jealousy is a normal human feeling, we start to decrease its negative energy and power over our emotions.

Moving beyond jealousy requires that we do not encourage it with negative mind chatter (“Sam wouldn’t live in that neighborhood if his parents hadn’t given him the money.”). Letting go of jealousy also means no gossiping with others, openly or with false pretense (“Oh? I thought you knew Sam’s parents gave him the money to live in that neighborhood.”).

Jealousy’s gift is that it speaks to us about what is important to us. We want what we are jealous of. Be honest, say it out loud (“I want to live in a neighborhood like Sam’s.”). This is being conscious and truthful. The grip of jealousy loosens. What is it we are jealous of? relationships? career? possessions (which ones)? personality traits (confidence, success, peacefulness, intelligence, etc.)? When we definitively recognize what we are jealous of, we can often create it in our own lives.

Another lesson from jealousy is acceptance. Perhaps we are jealous that our friend has the “perfect marriage” (relationship), or that our sibling has become renowned (fame) in his/her field. What if we cannot resolve our jealousy by creating a wonderful relationship with a spouse or becoming prominent in our field of work? Perhaps we can create what we want (relationship/fame) on a different scale. We could build an amazing relationship with a friend or colleague, or we can become known for our talents in organizing a charity or sports event.

Finally, it may be that the beauty of becoming conscious of our jealousy lies in accepting that our distinctive path is different for a reason we may or may not ever know. Acceptance propels us forward. Our unique life has its own meaning, it own magic, it own magnificence…in this we fulfill who we really are.

Activity: Make a list of your jealous statements. Look for what is it that you are jealous of. (It is not the person we are jealous of. Our jealousy is about who they are, what they have or what they represent.) Are your jealousies related to: family? career? relationships? health? income? marriage? fun/recreation? education? Journal about bringing what you have identified as the reason for your jealousy into your own life. Consider creating this new “thing” in a way that adds to the quality of your own one-of-a-kind life.

"Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds."
Helen Rowland

You may copy or forward e-clips insofar as the company name of Breakout Life Coaching is included in the copy.
Privacy Policy: Your privacy is very important. I will not give, sell or share your email address to any individual or organization.